The S80 Crew Bum Saver 2000®

You’ve all seen the toilet roll ads “Love Your Bum” well Thommo’s Creations Inc. proudly introduces the (drum roll) Crew Bum Saver 2000 system. The patented* design utilises the contoured hose pipe and a foam pad of the same height that tapers to the deck to create a comfortable surface that moulds to the contours of your crew’s nether regions.

Your crew will love it! No more complaining** about hiking out on the rail. Your “Rail-Meat” will be happy and content, as they toast to your success***.

Lending your boat to the AWKR event? Be sure to look after the crew’s bums by installing the Crew Bum Saver 2000. They’ll love you for it!

* A total lie; it is not patented at all so copy with pride.

** Not guaranteed, as crew are apt to complain regardless of comfort level.

*** Alcohol not included, but advised for crew moral regardless.

Testimonials ****

Prickly “Piles” Pete:   I used to hate sitting out on the rail. I would end up with a grooved butt (perpendicular to my natural groove) at the end of each race. Once my beloved Skipper installed the Crew Bum Saver 2020 I couldn’t wait to get back out there.

“Skin-and-Bones” Sarah:  I have got a skinny bum (with less fat than a sparrow’s kneecap). I tried an unbalanced diet of lard sandwiches, donuts and RMYS chips, but to no avail. I was ready to give it all up when our beautiful Skipper installed the Crew Bum Saver 2000 and now you can always find me lounging on the rail.

Hank “Huey” Hardarse:  I am rather well-endowed in the transom, so you’d think that the toe rail would not really bother me. But when you spend as much time as I do welcoming lunch back up over the side, you appreciate the finer attention to detail taken by our immensely talented-but-humble-Skipper with the Crew Bum Saver 2000.

**** These testimonials may bear no relation to the truth and might be simply a work of pure fiction

Bill of Materials

Clarke Rubber – 4 pieces of floor mat edging “1000 by 1000 by 20mm edge black ($37.80)

Bunnings – 4 m of garden hose (colour of your choice)

Bunnings –  4 or 5mm elastic shock cord

Bunnings – packet of cable ties

Tools

Sharp knife (watch those pinkies)

Scissors or side cutters

Blow torch and large nail

Method

  1. Measure and cut the foam pads so that end on end they fit between the two stanchions.
  2. Using a gas burner heat a large nail or old cross head screw driver to red hot and poke a hole through each of the tabs on the mat (do this outside as it stinks).
  3. Cut the garden hose to length spanning the distance from the second and third stanchions
  4. Slice the garden hose down the middle
  5. Push the garden hose over the toe rail and secure with cable ties
  6. Use short lengths of the elastic shock cord to secure the mat to the toe rail such that the knot is between the deck and the matt

Too lazy or mechanically inept to do this? Contact Boutique Boat Repairs and they will get ‘er done in time for the AWKR. Call Simon on 0423798195